Something achieved
When we achieve
a goal, we feel good about ourselves. A common part of this is feeling
proud, where our self-respect and feelings of worth are boosted. In this way, our sense of
identity is increased.
Pride also can
be in ownership, for example in a new car, although this really is again pride in
achievement - for example in having acquired the the car and the status that goes with it.
Pride is greater
when we have had to work hard for something, as this makes the achievement
more worthwhile.
Meeting high
standards
Pride is particularly
useful when it helps us to maintain standards. I am proud of my professional
abilities and will work hard to maintain them.
A unifying force
Pride can also
be a unifying force in a group of people, such as when a team achieves a difficult
challenge or lives up to its high standards. It has historically been used by leaders to encourage
a depressed organization or country to feel good again.
In the negative
sense, it can be used as a coercion, in the sense that you must feel proud to
belong to our group. It is often used by governments to enthuse a people towards war.
Hitler, for example,
used it to rally the German nation after the defeat of the first world war and
the subsequent ruin. How he then used it to persuade them into terrible acts is well
documented. This is an approach used by more than one politician.
Superiority
Pride in itself
is not a bad thing and can be very useful for maintaining standards. However, it is
named as one of the Seven Deadly Sins in recognition of its shadow side, where it ends up in
my feeling overly superior to other people.
When pride becomes
more extreme, we extend and enhance our feeling of achievement by
comparing ourselves with others, feeling superior to them. This is where pride becomes socially
undesirable and it breaks the rule that says 'we are all equal' (or at least we should pretend that
this is so).
In this case, pride
can be measured as the gap between what you have achieved or acquired
and that of other people. Millionaires can thus be very proud people (although of course this is
not necessarily the case).
The saying 'Pride
goes before a fall' is an indication of how pride can lead to a self- importance
that leads me to ignore risks (perhaps on the assumption that I am so superior the risks will not
dare to happen to me).
So what?
Have reasonable
pride yourself and beware of it going over the edge into a superiority complex.
Pumping up the
other person's pride such that they cannot see what you are really doing is a
surprisingly common thing. How often do we flatter other people without really meaning what
we say? When we flatter others, we usually have a persuasive ulterior motive.
