An interesting
phenomenon is that when we put ourselves mentally into a person or situation,
we experience the emotions of that person more strongly.
Putting yourself
in the picture
Personal history
Take an emotional
experience from your past, and think back to that time. Put yourself in the
picture, so you are re-living the experience (not standing back or looking down on yourself).
See the situation 'through your own eyes'.
Doing this, you
will most likely re-experience to some extent the emotions you felt at the time. If
you looked at a strong negative experience you might even have felt tears coming to your eyes.
Empathizing
We can do the same
with other people - when we empathize
with them, we are putting
ourselves into their body and their experiences. By associating ourselves closely with them, we
experience what they experience and feel what they feel.
Standing back
The reverse of
association is dissociation. Take that same emotional experience and now move
to a position above the scene, so you can see yourself in it. You will now most likely
experience the emotion far less.
Many people manage
life in this detached way. They detach themselves from others and even
themselves, living in a safe, unemotional place where they can look down on the world and
coolly evaluate it.
So what?
Therapists use
this phenomenon either to help clients re-live experiences or to help them detach
themselves from painful emotions.
This can also be
used to help others to change moods. If they are empathetic (as we mostly
are, to some extent), then if then if you change your emotional state then they may well follow
you, especially if you have connected them to you beforehand by first empathizing with them.
